10 Signs You’re Definitely a Crazy French Bulldog Mum (or Dad)

french bulldog mum

They’re ugly, they’re cute, they’re one of the most popular breeds, but why? What is it that makes a French Bulldog such a unique dog to own. If you have one, do you recognise these traits of these special little clown dogs?

You speak Frenchie

Something about the way she’s holding her ears as she gazes out of the window, you know exactly what she’s thinking. Where on earth has that pigeon gone? When she’s hovering in the kitchen for a cheeky bit of chicken and she looks at you with her big doey eyes. You can tell if she likes something (chicken) or hates it (the doorbell).You know her favourite spot for a rub and how much she loves a chin tickle. Everyone else thinks you’re totally mad but you can be certain you’re a Frenchie parent when you’re having full conversations with your best friend!

Your Frenchie eats better than you do

Beans on toast for the third time this week but she’s eating gourmet sweet potato and duck nuggets, made specially for her. And when she’s finished with that she still gets a little nibble of toast off of your plate despite the fact it’ll cause a butt hurricane later on! And the farts are deadly. But she looks at you like you’re her whole world, so of course she can have some toast.

They decide when you go for a walk

It’s time. You don’t even get a say anymore. It’s time for her walk. She knows where you’re going, she even knows what shoes you’re going to be wearing and you are late! She is ready, she was born ready. But you can’t find your shoes, or your coat, or one of her many stylish leads. Finally you’re off and she’s so full of joy in that puddle that you can’t help but grin. And so does everyone else that sees her. She makes a lot of new friends out on her adventures, she always does. There’s something about her little Frenchie grin that makes everybody love her. Within three days of you moving to your new house; every one in a four mile radius knows her name (but only three of them know yours) .

You’ll never sleep alone again

Even if she isn’t normally allowed in your bed (except for special occasions like birthdays…and Wednesdays) , that snoring is unmistakable from any part of the house! In fact you struggle to fall asleep without it. There is something so relaxing about those soft breathy sounds. And you’ve almost certainly found yourself watching her sleep and wondering what she’s dreaming about at least once. Probably catching that pigeon!

What are axolotls?
What are axolotls?

Every other Frenchie owner is an instant friend

No one gets it like another Frenchie mum! Their special smiley faces and the number one soft tickle spot behind their ears. You like every picture, every video, every article! There is nothing more exciting when you’re out and about and you spot another Frenchie, human in tow.

She has more toys than she knows what to do with…

…and her favourite is still a manky old slipper.

You’ve probably spent more money on dog toys than you spent on yourself this month. But even though that organic rubber duck (with real duck flavour!) came with a hefty price tag, her favourite toy will always be a disgusting slipper she found in the garden six months ago. She won’t go anywhere without it. And no matter how many times you wash it, it still smells absolutely rancid.

You’ve reblogged  at least one video of someone else’s frenchie being dorky!

Browsing the internet becomes much more fun with a frenchie, there are so many adorable pictures and videos. And so much relatable content! You can even make some yourself, guaranteed hit! Everyone loves a frenchie.

She has at least one coat. If not a whole wardrobe

She looks great in orange which is why she has eight coats, three sets of pjs and at least one silly outfit that she refuses to wear. You even got her a life jacket last year just in case she decides to go swimming. Even though you live in the countryside and don’t really like the beach… and she’s terrified of water (except puddles, they don’t count).

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My funny little frenchie, Dolly.

You own at least ten Frenchie accessories

And the accessories don’t stop at her. You’ve got a magnet, T-shirt, coaster and cushion. And you still haven’t got enough frenchie merchandise! In fact if it was up to you everything you own would have a frenchie on it. But you don’t live alone so you’ll have to wait until Christmas for an excuse to get that frenchie armchair.

Maybe it’s time for number two…

Sometimes when she’s looking out that window or begging to be played with and you’re just not in the mood, you wonder if she gets a bit lonely. There’s definitely space for another little fart machine! And then you end up spending six hours scrolling through the internet on a search for another best friend in every colour of the rainbow while she snores softly at your side. Warm and content.  

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